Shots Across the Bow

A Reality Based Blog


Simply Surreal

Via Tongue Tied:
Education Department officials in England are attempting to distance themselves from a booklet they launched that tells nursery schools not to play musical chairs because the game is too violent and competitive, reports the BBC.

Towards a Non-Violent Society, a pamphlet produced by the Forum on Children and Violence, argues that musical chairs only rewards the "strongest and fastest"

By all means! Let's eliminate the "Farmer in the Dell" game as well. After all, it glorifies a man who rapes the earth with agrochemicals, ripping food from the land beyond its natural ability to provide, leaving a barren dust plain in his wake. Also remember the 'cheese', who must "stand alone", suffering humiliations galore as the rest of the children dance around and laugh at him.

And of course, instead of the 'cheese' starting the next round as the farmer, thus completing the cycle and finding redemption, the teacher stops the game by ending recess early, and you're stuck with being the cheese all day, until recess the next day.

But then nobody wants to play the "Farmer in the Dell", and they call you the "stinky cheese," and chase you away, and you get mad, and vow revenge. You scheme and you plan and 10 years later, when everybody has forgotten, and you're now in high school, you leave limburger cheese in everybody's locker. Since your nickname is still 'Stinky', everybody knows you did it, so you are caught and expelled from school. Your parents die from shame and you take to the streets, where your vows of revenge are swallowed by a tide of booze and drugs as you sink into a life of despair.

But then an angel drops into your life and lifts you from the despair. You begin to function as a normal, sane human being. You get a job, and things are looking up. You have children and one day come home to find them sing "The Farmer in the Dell." The past comes rushing back as you hear the mocking voices in your head singing, "the cheese stands alone."

You snap and run screaming from the room, but you can't escape the voices in your head, singing:

"The cheese stands alone, the cheese stands alone.
Hi ho the dairy-o the cheese stands alone."

You run screaming though the streets. Children cry, dogs bark, and eventually some nice men in white coats come and pull you out of the tree, give you a shot and take you to a nice place with soft walls and hard nurses. You recover somewhat, and as therapy, they urge you to write about your experiences. They give you a computer keyboard and a blog, and then you start to write about all kinds of things......

I'm sharing too much again, aren't I?

All because of the "Farmer in the Dell."
Posted by Rich
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