One of them is very upbeat and supportive. He tells me that I can meet any challenge that comes my way, that I have the capacity to succeed, and to excel, as long s I'm willing to work hard to overcome the obstacles in my path. He tells me that no matter what comes, I have the ability to survive it, and to prosper. He tells me that I am strong, and that I can stand on my own. I know he has my back, because he's been there when I've needed a hand, but he always let's me make my own way. Sometimes I get tired, and I complain that other people don't seem to have to work as hard, and he tells me that it doesn't matter what other people do or have; I can make my own fortune regardless of their wealth.
My other friend always tells me how much he cares about me, and how much he wants to help me succeed. He doesn't say it out loud, but the way he acts shows me that he doesn't think I can do it on my own. He "helps" me before I ask, and sometimes in ways that aren't really helpful at all. He insists that I do things his way because he knows what works best for people like me, and he can get very angry when I try to go my own way. He tells me that he's here to help me because I need his help, that the obstacles in my path are too big for me to overcome on my own. Sometimes, he tells me that I have to forget what I want and do what he wants, so that somebody else can get what they want. I'm never exactly sure how that's supposed to work, but he talks really fast and it's usually easier to go along than to argue. Other times he tells me not to work so hard, that other people have it much easier than I do, so they owe me something. He says I have value and worth,. so I shouldn't have to prove that value or worth by producing anything. In fact, because I have value, I should have my needs met without any labor on my part. He tells me I'm entitled to everything I need, and I should stand up and demand my rights.
The first friend makes me feel strong, independent, and capable. The second friend makes me feel weak, envious, and afraid.
Tell me why I should keep hanging out with the second guy. He's kind of a downer.
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Life is too short to be around/surrounded by people who seem to enjoy making you feel bad about yourself.