Stability For Our Time

Like I don't have enough on my plate already, I've been handed a fresh new task by God.

Earlier today The thought crossed my mind that I needed to give the rest of my family to God, just as I had done with Luke. It was a nice thought,and I figured I'd get around to it in a couple of days, but right then, I was too busy enjoying the progress Luke was making. I've never lived in the middle of a miracle before.

Procrastination is not a sound practice when dealing with God, and tonight, my family exploded. The strain of worrying about Luke finally got to us and things went very badly. Some of my kids do not like my wife. They've made their feelings quite clear, never quite crossing the line into outright rudeness, but making her feel unwanted in a hundred small ways. Last night, they crossed a line, and now Lissa doesn't want anything to do with them, they don't want anything to do with her or me, my ex wife is cussing me for not taking the kids' side, and all I want to do is take care of my son and pray he gets out of here intact with a functioning brain. I'm being put into a position where I'm supposed to choose between my wife and my kids.

Not gonna happen.

I spent a couple of hours in the chapel and walking the hospital grounds praying. It's getting to be a habit I guess, and two things happened. First, I lost my anger. I've forgiven all involved.I understand the pressures that build up and while I don't approve of the actions taken, or accept them as valid in anyway, I let all of that go. Second, I've given this all up to God. I can't resolve the issues going on here so I'm not even going to try. I'm also not going to respond to threats, whether implied or overt. I choose who I want in my family and I want all my kids, their kids, assorted pets, and my wife. That's my family. If there are those who can't accept being in a family with others I've chosen, and they choose to walk away, that's their choice, not mine. It's not what I want and they will always be welcome to return if they change their mind. I will never stop loving any of them.

To modify a phrase, "Love 'em all, and let God sort' em out."

It's 4:30 in the morning. I'm going to stretch out on an uncomfortable chair and sleep for a bit.

I so admire your faith and courage throughout all of this. I feel as if I'm making a new friend! You are right to let God sort all of this out with who likes and accepts who. God loves us all and wants us to love everyone. I pray the stress on each and everyone of you will lessen and that the kids will accept your wife and how much she means to you and the happiness she brings you. The focus should be on Luke now......

And I'm going to meet Luke and your family sometime!

I don't know... kids are in a particularly vulnerable position... there is a power dynamic between parents and children that requires more than passivity. Sometimes God wants us to stand up to the plate and take charge, especially when it involves our children.

I've been following your story, Rich, and I'm hoping and praying for the best possible outcome. I just wanted to say that I agree with the commenter, Jessie. Just like you, your kids are hurting and vulnerable right now. Sometimes as parents, we need to meet our kids more than halfway, even if they're making that difficult to do. Whatever it is that's going on, you should maybe try and view it through their eyes. Best of luck to all of you during this unbearably stressful time.

I lost my brother to suicide recently. It was a public and traumatic event and left the rest of the family devastated. My surviving brothers, parents and extended family had a very hard time adjusting to our new reality. We all had separate issues to deal with and had to do it in our own way.

Weeks after my brother died I swore I would never speak to my siblings again. We were all under stress and weren't on our best behaviors and we had our own explosion. It was a terrible time and I was certain our family no longer existed.

Time does heal and while I will always feel that some family members were completely out of line, I also know they would doing the best they could. Sometimes I don't think it's about forgiving and forgetting but overlooking, especially during extreme circumstances.

I pray that your family will heal and become a happy unit once again, and celebrate when Luke comes home to you.

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